Sunday, February 20, 2005

BrainFarm Creates the MindUpgrade: NeuralField for Humans!

Now we're back, we're back with a vengeance. Our scientists have just completed work on a mini-NeuralField that one can implant in one's mind. It boosts one's brainpower to such a level that not only can you think faster than normal, but faster than anyone should ever need.

Based on the same technology as our now-famous NeuralFields, and guaranteed not to burn out through overuse, the chip we're calling the MindUpgrade has been tried and tested on several University students, all of which achieved A's in their first semester's assignments even after Excessive Partying. The chip can be installed by any qualified brain surgeon, following a very simple plug-and-play installation in the rear-brain.

Below is a photograph of the MindUpgrade. In close-up the micro-cellular HyperSynapses are visible, and glow a cool green when active:

Other abilities noted in our participants:
  • Long-term memory and recall to boosted to perfection.
  • Linguistic abilities develop ultra fast - one participant learnt Japanese in a day.
  • Recall of things that have not yet happened - yes, you can be psychic.
  • Some slight telekinesis - for when you can't be arsed to reach for the remote.
  • Using your head as a mobile phone - 1000 message inbox as standard.
  • Pumping out superpheromones to attract opposite sex - warning: may also attract bees.
  • Musical appreciation heightened - ringtones take on new, deeper meanings.
  • Dreams become your playground - lucid dreaming at your command.
  • See the hidden links between events - control outcomes with your super-hyped mind.
  • Communicate with other MindUpgrade users - bluetooth telepathy at the flick of a synapse.

At the moment the chips are in the prototype phase, but we want your suggestions to see if we're getting it right. When this eventually hits the market, what other abilities would you like your MindUpgrade to include?Post your suggestions below for alpha-testing. You never know, your suggestion might change the way we think!


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