Monday, February 07, 2005

NetCow/NeuralField Linkup: First of its Kind!

NeuralFields on their own can only process the information they are given, in order for thoughts to be kept pure and distortion-free. Therefore to keep ThoughtStream output clean and tasty we do not build them with Internet access. There are simply too many distractions - even for a sentient field of rapidly firing neurons. Under special circumstances however, and under very tight trawling parameters (eg, no porn, no Kazaa, and definitely no Ebay), we might connect a NeuralField to the Web.

In conjunction with the Broadband capabilities of our NetCows, huge amounts of data can be uncovered when networked with the massive processing power of a NeuralField. NetCow05 has recently been working closely with one of our NeuralFields devoted to the discovery of useless information. Here are their combined results from over the weekend:

  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
  • The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
  • Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic".
  • Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
  • Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
  • The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means, "the King is dead".
  • Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.
  • If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
  • An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
  • Ben and Jerry's sends the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavour: Mint Oreo.
  • Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
  • Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
  • A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
  • The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".
  • Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
  • Armadillos are also the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
  • Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
  • Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
  • Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
  • The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows".
  • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
  • If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
  • No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
  • Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired".
  • There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
  • All porcupines float in water.
  • Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
  • Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head".
  • Camel's milk does not curdle.
  • The male Great White shark produces 35 litres of sperm per 'shot'.
  • It's impossible to sing Old Macdonald had a farm to the tune of Row Row Row your boat.
  • The Turkish word for remote control is "commando".

If feedback is good, and if the NeuralField involved in producing this information seems unscathed from the harsh coldness of the Internet, we may very well do more link-ups like this one. Post some of your own useless facts in our comments box below to expand our KnowledgeBase!

5 Comments:

At 11:23 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is impossible to lick one's own elbow.
On reading this 9 people out of 10 feel compelled to attempt the feat immediately.

 
At 2:32 am, Blogger Georgie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:39 am, Blogger Georgie said...

Oh yeah, and in Horsham, there is an ex-village green with a plaque stating that we are allowed to graze sheep upon the grass. I think this is a seriously random useless fact.
(Although I might definitely consider doing it...)

 
At 11:35 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trevor McDonald once kissed a man.

 
At 7:30 pm, Blogger SubjectiveRealism said...

- The longest one syllable word in the english language is screeched -
- Barbie's body measurements if she were in real life are 39-23-33 -
- If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee -

 

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